


Lovely Heartache

by floatingpetals



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Cheating, Eventual Romance, F/M, Friends to Enemies to Friends, Heartache, Slow Burn, painful past
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-05-30 18:35:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15102584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floatingpetals/pseuds/floatingpetals
Summary: Bucky was Jasmine’s best friend growing up. From grade school all the way to middle school they were inseparable. But then high school came and ruined everything. Bucky grew from the awkward gangly preteen to a handsome young man that had all the girls throwing themselves at him. He left Jasmine behind, and since then she can’t forget the hurt. Angry and alone, she finishes high school and decides to move away, leaving her childhood behind. Seven years have passed and she gets an unexpected visitor on her doorstep. Can she forgive the familiar face that hurt her so much all those years ago? Why does he choose now to show up back in her life?





	1. Chapter 1

The rhythmic rain pelted against the window pane, the rumble of distant thunder was almost soothing to Jasmine. She was curled up on her couch watching one of her favorite movies, a thick blanket wrapped around her body and pillow tucked under her head. Today was her first day off in two weeks, and she was ready to savor every second of it. She was comfy and warm and nothing was going to move her.

Jasmine had just begun to doze into a light sleep when a soft tap came from the direction of her front door. She frowned, tilting her head towards the door. Probably nothing, she thought with a shrug. Just as she settled back into position, another louder knock resounded.

“Who the hell is that?” She groaned, untangled herself from her warm cocoon. Another rapid set of knocks pulled a snarl from her as she crossed the short distance to the door. “I’m coming!”

Jasmine didn’t even check the peephole before yanking the door open. If she had she definitely wouldn’t have answered. Of all the people in the world, the last person she’d ever thought she’d see again was standing in her tiny porch, looking like a kicked puppy. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked up into the bright blue eyes she somehow could never forget, no matter how much she willed herself to.

“Hey, Jaz…” James Buchanan Barnes, also known as none other than Bucky, grinned sheepishly down at his once best friend. Jasmine blinked, her mouth falling open in shock before she snapped her it shut with an audible click. Her brain finally caught up, and the repressed rage from her childhood came bubbling up to the surface. Oh, she had several questions come to mind, and she wasn’t going to hold back. She spent years thinking about what she would say to him if she ever saw him again, and now she here he was, on a silver platter.

“What the hell do you want?”

It was Bucky’s turn to looked stunned. He knew that he wasn’t going to expect a warm welcome, but her harsh tone was something he wasn’t prepared for. He always knew her as the sweet mild manner friend that never raised her voice at him. This wasn’t the Jasmine he knew. Shaking off his disbelief, he pulled out all the stops to attempt at winning her over.

“Well, hello to you too.” He grinned with his trademark lopsided grin, tilting his head to the side like a puppy. He didn’t look any different then he had the last time she saw him, the only exception of his age showing around his eyes. A dazzling blue that she always seemed to get lost in when they talked stared up at her, knocking the air from her lungs. She hated how after all this time, after so many years of no contact, he still affected her so much.

“I repeat,  _Barnes_.” She hissed, narrowing her eyes. Bucky blinked in shock, his head reeling back at her harsh tone. Jasmine ignored the hurt that flashed across his face, pushing back her own feelings, and leaned in closer with a scowl. “What the hell do you want?”

Bucky’s mouth fell open, at a loss for words. He didn’t expect her to be happy to see him unannounced, but he didn’t expect this unwelcoming reception. He stumbled on his words, swallowing his pain. “I uh… I was in the neighborhood and wanted to see you?”

Jasmine narrowed her eyes and took a step back from the door, her knuckles white on the metal handle. “Wrong answer.”  

Bucky’s eyes widened, his hand shooting out to stop the door before Jasmine slammed it shut in his face. “Wait! Okay. Fine!”

Jasmine stopped, leaning heavily on the door as she waited with a raised brow. Bucky shifted uncertainly on the steps of her home, chewing on his bottom lip. Jasmine knew he’d only do that when he was nervous, a habit he had since they were little kids. It was one of his ticks, and she wasn’t really surprised he still had that habit. He took in a deep shuddering breath, his shoulders dropping.

“I… I need a place to stay.” She almost missed his troubled tone, the weak sound nearly lost in the rain. Frowning, she leaned forward, tilting her ear towards him.

“What?”

“I need a place to stay.” He spoke louder, his brows knitting together. Jasmine shifted her weight to one leg, rest her hand on her hip. He saw her question without her even having to ask. “Devin kicked me out.”

It was with that quiet admission that she finally took the time to look over his appearance. His hair had grown longer over the years, clinging to the side of his face and neck. His eyes were lined with dark circles, sunken in his face, and the lines etched in deeper than she regarded earlier. His body was hunched over in the doorway, clutching a large sad blue duffle bag in his left hand.

“She what?” Jasmine asked, stunned. “But I thought-?”

“Yeah…” Bucky laughed dryly. “Turns out, she wasn’t with me for me.”

An uncomfortable silence settled between the two of them, Jasmine too stunned to find the words. There was a flash of lightning followed by the deafening boom of thunder. The two jumped, Bucky ducking down in the open. His breath came in short bursts, his pupils blown wide in fear.

“Look as much as I’d love to stay out in the rain, is there any chance I can come in and dry off? I can explain everything.” Bucky pleaded, giving her his trademark puppy dog look. Jasmine sucked in a breath, gritting her teeth. She really didn’t want to let him in her home, she had no plans on ever seeing this man again. Yet here she stood, watching the water drench him to the bone while he hunched over and pleaded to her through his big blue eyes. Weighing her options, Jasmine let out a defeated sigh and stepped aside.

“Fine but take your shoes off and stay off the couch.” Bucky grinned wide, his smile blinding as he gently brushed past her into the entryway. She shut the door behind him, and awkwardly shuffled past him into the living room. “Bathroom is the second door to the left. Towels are in the closet.”

Bucky nodded and carefully moved through the room, flinching as the water dropped on the carpet with each step. He kept his eyes down, a light blush of embarrassment forming on his face as he shuffled down the hall. She pressed herself against the living room wall, keeping as much distance between the two of them while she watched as his back disappeared into the doorway of the bathroom. Her body didn’t relax until she heard the door shut behind him, letting out a sigh of relief.

“Oh god.” Jasmine groaned, rubbing her temple. Every suppressed memory came flooding back, and the horror of what she just let back into her life settle in her stomach. “What have I gotten myself into?”


	2. Chapter 2

Bucky peeled off his wet clothes and tossed them to the floor with a plop. He quickly turned the shower on, sighing as the steam filled the small room. When he turned, he stopped at the sight of himself in the mirror, his face twisting in disgust at the worn lines and deep circles under his eyes.

“Shit.” He mumbled, rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his palm. 

He really did look as awful as he felt. With one last quick look in the mirror, he stepped into the shower, letting the heat melt into the tension out of his muscles. One hand leaned against the wall in front of him, the water flowing down his face around him, his shoulder-length hair creating a curtain, almost shielding him from the world around him.

This was the first time he had a chance to be alone, to think about what he walked into, and reality was rapidly crashing down around him. Bucky was only gone for three days, it was just a simple out of town meeting with Stark Enterprise. He was there just to make sure the higher-ups were happy with his work. He was in and out in two days, lucky enough to wrap things up earlier than anticipated.

Bucky never would have thought he’d walk in and see his fiancé with her legs up in the air, getting plowed by her ‘friend from work’ and thoroughly enjoying it. At least she had the gall to look surprised. She threw the man on his ass while she scrambled to cover herself with the sheets.

“Bucky?! What are you doing home?” He laughed, actually laughed in her face.

“Apparently, I came home too soon. I’m sorry.” He spat, looking down at her in disgust. “Please. By all means; finish!”

He turned at heel and walked out, ignoring her pleas to stop. She didn’t mean it, she loved him! But Bucky wasn’t an idiot, he knew she didn’t mean it. He made sure to slam the door with all his strength, shaking the whole apartment, and shutting that chapter of his life.

Now he had no clue where to go. When he got into the car he just started driving. He didn’t even realize he pulled up to Jasmine’s house until there was a clap of thunder. Bucky sat in the car, looking out at her front door for what seemed like hours before he numbly made his way to the door.

Truth be told, he didn’t expect her to let him in her house. Not after what happened all those years ago.

They used to be inseparable growing up. Jasmine and Bucky were never far from the other all throughout grade school. Bucky lived in the house right behind hers, so they would always walk to and from school, spend days playing in the streets or floating in Jasmine’s pool.

Even throughout middle school, before either of them grew into their bodies they were the best of friends. It wasn’t until their 9th-grade year that things change. Looking back on it, Bucky’s heart sank at how he treated her. He grew up faster, growing out of his awkward gangly body. He grew up and thicker, hours at the gym because he made it on the football team did that to a teenage boy. He discovered what girls were, and quickly shut out his closest friend.

Bucky sighed, grabbing the shampoo bottle on the ledge. He inhaled deeply, chuckling when the familiar sweet scent of strawberries and coconuts. Even after all these years, she kept some things the same. Finding some comfort out of that thought, he finished his shower quickly and grabbed one of the fluffy white towels out of the small closet.

He paused, looking at his duffle bag. He really wished he had at least some hindsight to grab a hand full of clothes before he left. All he had was a pair of sweatpants, a white t-shirt, and two probably very wrinkled suits. Too late to worry about it now.

Getting dressed as quickly as he could. He hung up his wet clothes and towel over the shower rack and grabbed his duffle bag. He stopped short at the closed door, hesitating. Bucky couldn’t tear his gaze away from the handle, a thousand thoughts running through his brain. Why did he think it was a good idea to come here? What was he going to do now? More importantly, how could he ever make up what he did to Jasmine all those years ago?

Letting out a shaking sigh, he took hold of the handle and swung the door open.

~~

Jasmine sat on her couch, staring blankly at the television, playing whatever channel she landed on. In her hand was a glass of scotch on the rocks, needing something to take the edge off.

Why did she think this was okay? Bucky ruined her life in high school, destroyed whatever self-confidence she had, and now suddenly he was back here on her doorstep, begging to be let back in. She scoffed and took a sip of the drink.

She was an idiot, she decided. Absolute idiot letting that man back in. But damn if time hadn’t aged him like a fine wine. Even when they were younger, Jasmine had a crush on him. He was always awkwardly taller than the rest, long gangly arms he couldn’t figure out what to do with. Bucky had a cute baby face that her mother just loved to pinch his cheeks and tell him how adorable he was. He’d blush like crazy and swat her hands away. Then puberty hit, and boy did he ever fill out.

There were a few weeks they hadn’t seen each other, Jasmine flew to Seattle to visit her grandparents for about four weeks during their summer before the 9th grade. When she came back, her jaw almost hit the floor. He wasn’t a defined, but she kept asking him where the muscles came from. The baby fat on his cheeks seemed to have melted away, showing off his strong jaw and high cheekbones. Just like she knew, under the awkward preteen was a handsome man finding himself. Unfortunately, it also meant that everyone else noticed his change as well.

Jasmine frowned, the flashbacks too painful to even think about. She shuddered and pushed them back down. Nope, she wasn’t going to think about it. Not now, it was the past and she needed to move forward. At least, that’s what she kept telling herself.

The sound of the water shutting off pulled her from her pity party. Sighing, Jasmine stood and began to pick up the little bits of trash on her coffee table. She moved around the room, pulling out blankets and pillows from their hiding spots, placing them on the couch while she tried to ignore the butterflies of panic in her stomach.

She was doing this because she was the better person. She let Bucky in her home because her mother raised her right. Jasmine found herself repeating those words over and over again, trying to keep the sizzling rage from exploding.

She had just finished the last of her scotch, hips leaning against the counter in front of the sink when she heard the door slowly open down the hall. His feet were quiet as he padded in the room, stopping short at the sight of the blanket and pillows on the couch. Jasmine didn’t want to move, afraid he’d spot her. Ridiculous thought, but she wasn’t ready to face him. Not yet at least. She was still kicking herself for not slamming the door in his pretty, dumb face when he stood on the porch.

Bucky caught her ramrod straight back at the sink out of the corner of his eyes. Regret and shame filled his chest, finding it harder to swallow around the lump that formed there. It didn’t hit him how much he hurt her until he saw where she stood. The only thing that kept him together was seeing the carefully folded blankets and pillows she set out.

“Uh…” He cleared his throat. Jasmine jumped, slowly turning her head in his direction. “Thank you… for letting me stay here.”

Jasmine didn’t speak, just nodded numbly. His shoulders fell, and he let out a shuddering breath of air. His duffle bag dropped to the floor beside the couch and he sank into the soft leather of the cushions.

Turning to lean her back against the counter, Jasmine watched as Bucky buried his face in his hands. His long hair covered his features, nevertheless Jasmine knew all his tells. He was struggling to keep it together, his knuckles white where he gripped to his face. She figured he would wait until she left to let it all out, even then though he might keep it all inside.

She really wanted to escape to her room, to just ignore that stupid voice in her head to told her to wrap her arms around his stupidly wide shoulders and tell him everything was okay. However, she found herself across the room before she knew it and doing just that.

Bucky didn’t even flinch when she wrapped arms around him. It had been so long since he felt a comforting touch, even if it was slightly stiff. It was like the dam broke open and all his bottled emotions came flooding out in ugly sobs. Gut wrenching, full body shaking sobs tore from his chest. He clutched Jasmine like a lifeline, realizing she was really the only one he had left that he could turn to.

Jasmine was stunned but held on to him tighter. Never had she seen someone break down as quickly as Bucky had. It was like her touch was enough for Bucky to unleash everything. She hadn’t the slightest clue what he was holding on to, but clearly, it was enough to bring him down.

She didn’t know how long they sat there, Bucky letting go all of his bottled emotions while she awkwardly rubbed his back. Neither said a word, Jasmine unable to find the right words to soothe him. She didn’t let him go until his sobs turned to faint sniffles.

Reluctantly, he sat back with a rub to his eyes, now bloodshot. Jasmine reached for the box of tissues on the coffee table and passed them over. Bucky mumbled his thanks, dabbing at his eyes before he blew his nose. Silence rang through the room, Jasmine shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

“I um…” She said with a frown. “I’ll let you get situated.”

Bucky watched her slowly stand, trying to shield his sadness. He wanted to ask her to stay longer, but she had already done more than enough. He nodded and reached for another tissue.

“Yeah. Thank you, again.” He mumbled. Jasmine’s chin jerked in a nod and she quickly stepped around the couch. Bucky followed her with his eyes, deflating when she shut the door softly behind her without a second glance his way.

He turned to the pillows and blankets, sighing sadly. He had a lot to make up, but first, he needed to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Bucky woke in a slight daze. He wasn’t sure where he was, his world tilted on its axis. The warmth from the light that peaked through the sheer light in the living room warmed his skin, the memories of the night before rushing back to him and turning his blood cold.

Despite the chilling sadness that washed over him, his chest still felt heavy and warm. He frowned when he felt the pressure shift and slowly cracked open an eye. He locked eyes with molten gold, blinking slowly at him with thin slits of black. The small creature, a pitch-black cat, seemed unfazed of the new human that was staring at him in surprise.

“Ah.” Bucky’s mouth fell open, his brows pinching together in confusion. The cat let out a soft chirp and began purring loudly on his chest, twisting its body on it’s back. Uncertainty, Bucky reached up and curled his finger behind the cat’s ears, which only sent the small animal into a louder purr. He smiled softly, the sound comforting early in the morning after such a horrid day before. Bucky figured it would the only time he’d have a moment of peace, a time where he didn’t have to worry about what was to come.

Groaning softly, he scrubbed a free hand down his face, the dread settling in the pit of his stomach. He’d need to get his things, he’d have to find an apartment. He’d have to take time off work to get resettled. Fortunately, he was close enough with his boss that he wouldn’t have to worry about getting in trouble for such late notice. A frown tugged on his lips, his fingers pausing in his scratching of the cat.

The animal seemed to notice the decline of the human’s attitude as well as the fingers stilling against its ear. Swiftly it curled back up to stare with an indignant meow that startled Bucky. The cat stretched, softly kneading its paws into the cotton of Bucky’s sleep shirt, the gold sliding shut in content. Bucky chuckled and ran a hand down it’s back. He let out a sigh of breath, relaxing into the couch. The cat purred in content, It’s tail flicking back and forth along his stomach.

He sat with the small animal, letting the small bit of peace from the cat roll over him. A door opened slowly down the hall, bringing him back from his listless thoughts. The cat perked up, it’s head twisting around to face the hall.

It let out a chirp and leaped off Bucky’s chest to dart around the couch. Bucky didn’t move, listening to a soft voice greet the cat.

“Hey, Nestle.” Jasmine murmured, scratching behind the ear. The cat purred loudly, flopping onto it’s back to show of its belly. “Nope. I’m not falling for that.”

Jasmine chuckled at the vexed mew and straightened her back. She froze, spotting Bucky wide awake and staring at her from across the room from his spot on the couch. She cleared her throat and awkwardly shuffled to the kitchen.

“Morning.” She mumbled.

“Morning.” He answered, letting out a sigh of relief. At least she acknowledged him on the couch. It still hurt to see her avert her eyes immediately, but he knew he deserved it. He heard her moving around in the kitchen, setting a pan on the counter.

“Do you want anything to eat?” She asked over her shoulder. Bucky slowly sat up, twisting around to face the kitchen. He must have taken too long, Jasmine’s head popped up around the corner with brows furrowed. He blinked rapidly and nodded slowly.

“Yeah, that be great.” He hesitated. “Need any help?”

Jasmine shook her head and ducked back into the room. Nothing else was said between the two of them, Bucky staying put on the couch while Jasmine made them eggs and bacon. The coffee pot was quickly set up, Jasmine needing the extra caffeine kick.

Nestle had jumped on the couch, rubbing against Bucky’s side. Mindlessly, he stroked the cat, his thoughts far from the little room in his ex-best friend’s house. He tried to find the signs, wondered if he was just that oblivious and didn’t see any. Yet nothing came up. Even if this was the first time, he knew he could never forgive Devin. Not with how willing she seemed.

“Breakfast is ready.” Jasmine’s soft voice pulled him back. He slowly turned, smiling softly in response. “I didn’t know how you’d want your coffee, so I left the mug by the pot.”

A zing shot through Bucky’s chest, floored by how kind she was being. Jasmine had no reason to even offer him her couch, and yet here she was, offering him food and coffee like it was no trouble. He swallowed a lump, blinking back the sting of tears that threatened to fall. Yeah, he really messed up. Even after what he did, the things he said to her back then, Jasmine was the same kind and caring women he knew growing up.

“Thank you.” He mumbled and walked into the kitchen. He spotted the mug and his plate filled with eggs and bacon. He poured his cup, throwing in a spoon full of sugar before picking up the plate. Jasmine was sitting at the round kitchen table, tucked away in the kitchen nook watching him with a guarded expression as she ate her breakfast. He hesitated, uncertain whether to take up one of the empty seats.

Jasmine didn’t say a word, letting him struggle with himself on what to do. She wasn’t going to help him any more than she already was. Finally coming to a decision, he sat opposite of her, his shoulder dropping. Almost like he was trying to hide his hulking frame in the open kitchen. Jasmine bit into a piece of bacon, chewing slowly as she regarded him.

It wasn’t until his plate was halfway finished and she had filed her cup a second time that he spoke.

“I found her with another man.” He mumbled so quietly, she wasn’t even certain she heard him right. “I was gone for less than three days, and she had another man in our bed.”

Jasmine felt her heartbreak for him. She might still not be ready to forgive him, but she never wished for him to go through this. For someone to break his trust so cruelly like this. Without a second thought, Jasmine reached across the table and placed her hand on top of his shaking one.

“Oh, Bucky.” She whispered softly. “I’m so sorry. I-I had no idea.”

Bucky shook his head, sniffling loudly. The tears burned behind his eyes, his breath caught in his lungs. He gritted his teeth, willing himself to not cry. Not now, not here in front of Jasmine. She didn’t need to be pulled into this any more than she was. But she was making it harder with each kind gesture she did.

“I just… I don’t know what I did wrong.” His voice broke, a tear slipping down his cheek. Jasmine squeezed his hand, heart-shattering at the broken sob that tore through his chest.

“You did nothing wrong.” She argued. “Nothing you did could have ever justified her cheating on you.”

Bucky simply shook his head again, not believing her completely. He probably deserved it, possibly karma for everything he did years before. Instead of arguing more, Jasmine simply shook her head and let out a sigh. At a loss for words, she decided to switch gears.

“What are you going to do now?” She asked. Bucky inhaled sharply, mind scattered as he thought it over.

“I-I don’t know really. I have to get my stuff.” He sniffed. “I need to get a new place. Call off work.”

“Where do you have to go for now?” She questioned.

Bucky let out a shuddering breath, blinking away the tears. He thought about calling Steve, he had been his friend since college. But he just recently got married to Peggy, his high school sweetheart. He couldn’t, no wouldn’t, ask his friend to take him in. Peggy liked him enough, but he wasn’t going to intrude on the new couple. He really was alone.

“I don’t’ know.” He rubbed a hand down his face. “I’ll probably just get a hotel room until I can find a place.”

Jasmine chewed on her lower lip, watching the way he visibly deflated at the thought. He didn’t think four days ago his life would unravel to this, yet here he was. She didn’t even know where the words came from, she couldn’t have stopped them if she could have. They came tumbling out her mouth, stunning them both.

“You could stay here until you find a place.”

You could hear a pin drop. Bucky’s head snapped up, and her own eyes flew open wide. What the hell did she just offer?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't’ forget about this story! I’ve just had a lot going on with my writing/ I had the worst week ever trying to find motivation. Don't worry, things will get good here soon. I hope you enjoy!

Bucky wasn’t going to ask her whatever it was that possessed Jasmine to offer her home up to him. She wasn’t going to give him any reason as to why either. Not like she could really offer any. Instead, the two stared at each other for a few minutes, wide-eyed and surprised, until Nestle jumped up on the table and dove straight towards Bucky’s unattended bacon.

“No! Nestle!” Jasmine scolded, scooping up the black cat. “You know better than to get on the table.”

The cat gave her his best impression of a stink eye, seconds from nabbing a piece of bacon, and trotted off. Jasmine huffed and rolled her eyes, while Bucky let out a soft chuckle.

“Go swat at the birds in the window sill.” She waved at the cat’s disappearing behind. Bucky watched with unveiled amusement as the cat yowled back from somewhere across the room, earning a scoff from Jasmine. “Don’t get an attitude with me! The last time you snuck off with food, you were whining all day about your stomach pain. I’m not dealing with that again.”

Jasmine turned around back to the table, freezing under Bucky’s stare. He had a tiny grin on his face, his blue eyes catching the light from the window across from him. She swallowed a lump in her throat, tossing aside the thought of how strikingly handsome he looked half-awake in her coffee nook, and clear her throat.

“Um, yeah. I have the spare room I’ve been using for storage. I’d have to move some stuff around, and while I don’t have a bed in that room, you can use it until you find a place.” Jasmine said stiffly, slipping back into her empty seat with a strange uncomfortable look on her face.

Bucky blinked, mentally shaking himself. He turned back to his plate in an attempt to calm his nerves.

“You don’t have to do that. I know me being here right now is a lot.” He mumbled, poking at his cold eggs. “I’ll just get a hotel room. No worries.”

Jasmine was quiet for a bit, watching him poke and prod at his food. She had a feeling this was difficult enough for him, considering everything he’d gone through in the last twenty-four hours. As much as she continuously reminded herself of what he did to her all those years ago, her mother’s principles were beaten into her with a metaphorical club. Setting her jaw, she pushed aside her distress and stood

“Nope.” She responded, adding an extra pop to the ‘p’. Bucky’s head snapped up, brows furrowed in confusion. “Don’t give me that look. You don’t need to be spending any extra expenses while you’re looking for a new place. Not to mention you shouldn’t be alone while you get your shit figured out.”

Bucky watched in shock as Jasmine scooped up hers and his plate, assuming he was done by the way he pushed his food around instead. She dumped his plate in the trash and went to the skin to clean the dished, all while continuing speaking over her shoulder.

“I’m sure you don’t want to go back to get your stuff, I wouldn’t want to in your situation. I’m sure I can rope Steve into moving your stuff- You remember Steve?” She asked.

Of course, Bucky remembered Steve. The blonde was a tiny little hot head who go into fights daily, all while dealing with his own array of sickness. If he wasn’t in the hospital for a severe asthma attack or new cold, you’d often find him getting stitches or the one time a split from his scuffles. More often than not, Bucky had to step up between Steve and some bully to keep Steve alive. Despite all that Steve was his best friend alongside Jasmine growing up, the three never far from each other. At least, until that fateful day. Steve cut off all contact with him and looking back, Bucky couldn’t blame him. Bucky still thought he was the little punk that was half his size, how was he supposed to help?

“Well anyways, he sprouted up sometime his freshman year in college, I think he got hit late with the puberty stick. Well, more like beat with the stick. He’d give you a run for his money.” She chuckled, thinking about the lunch she had with him four days earlier. Years had gone by, yet he was still the feisty punk from grade school, just in a beefcake body. 

“He might be able to get Sam into it too. He knows him from the VA after he got out of the army. Anyways, he met Sam, you might like him, though he’s kind of a pain in the ass half the time. While we get that figured out, you can look for a place to live. While you do, you’ll take the spare room. You’ll have to earn your stay too. Vacuum the house, clean the kitchen and bathroom, stuff like that. And when you find you a new place, we’ll help move you back in and make sure you all good.” Jasmine had finished the dishes, setting them on the drying rack beside the sink. She had a perfectly good dishwasher beside her, however the need to keep her hands busy kept her from simply putting them in the machine. Taking in a deep breath, she slowly turned to face Bucky who was staring at her with wide eyes.

Bucky didn’t say a word during her rambling, unable to fully understand just what was tumbling out of her mouth. She seemed to have the entire thing planned out, all in a matter of seconds making sure it was the optimal way to keep him most comfortable during the separation. It was remarkable how quickly she had it all figured out, not mention she hardly took a breath through it all.

Jasmine shifted uncomfortable, her eyes darting around the room while her cheeks burned. There was no point of kicking herself now, what’s done is done. She only wished he’d say something, anything other than staring at her with those absurd grey-blue eyes that she could find herself lost in.

Snapping out of his daze, Bucky cleared his throat and opened his mouth. And closed it only to open it again.

“I-uh.” He stammered, his throat suddenly incredibly dry. “That sounds-yeah. I mean if you don’t mind keeping me here. I don’t want to put you out or anything.”

Jasmine bit back a dry laugh, waving his concern off. “It’s fine. Really.”

She wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince him or herself, however at this point, she didn’t know. Bucky looked less than convinced but did well to hold his tongue. He nodded and slowly stood, lowering his gaze to the ground. Jasmine shook her head and jutted her chin to the living room.

“Come on, I’ll show you the room.”

Bucky followed her through her small hallway, pausing to look over the framed photos that lined her walls. Snapshots of her life were arranged down the hall, giving him a small picture of what he missed. Some were of her family, most were of her with her friends, smiling from ear to ear in each. It was so familiar, yet so distant. That was the same smile from grade school, the same smile he whipped from her lip’s years before. She looked genuinely happy. Bucky doubted that he’d ever get to see that face again, he didn’t think he’d deserve to ever again either.

“Here it is.” Jasmine’s voice cut through his pity party. She stood at the open door, carefully watching how he looked them over. She was caught off guard by how distant his eyes had gone, regret and shame swirling in the blue. He nodded and stepped over to the doorway, swallowing the tears that came rushing forward suddenly.

With each step closer it dawned on him more and more the ramification of what he did. She wasn’t as open and welcoming as she looked in the photos, or how she had been in grade school. He did this to her. Her caused Jasmine, his once best friend he would do anything in the world for, to throw up walls and protection around him. Yet she still opened her house for him. Despite their past, she didn’t let it overrule her compassionate nature. He really didn’t deserve her, not then and certainly not now.

Wordlessly he walked into the room, glancing around the room. It was moderately sized, obviously a storage room with a handful of boxes pressed up against the wall, each labeled carefully with the contents in the boxes. Even with the stack, Bucky had more than enough room to move about and get situated. Jasmine stepped into the room and went to the closet.

“Hang on. I think-.” She grunted, grabbing a thin tall box out of the back corner of the walk-in closet. Bucky stepped aside, Jasmine put the box on the floor. “I thought he might have left it here.”

Bucky watched her open the lid and pull out a flat contraption that she quickly set up, a low cot that looked just long enough and wide enough for his frame, perhaps even enough room to spread out on.

“It’s Steve’s. He used to crash here after drinking too much and wanted something other than the floor to pass out on. He needed a giant one cause he’d roll off the others” She said offhandedly. Bucky’s eyebrows shot to his hairline, surprised. “Well, sheets and pillows are in the closet. I’m going to feed Nestle and call Steve about getting your stuff.”

She stood there awkwardly for a moment, hands wringing in front of her before she sharply nodded her head and spun at heel. Bucky waited until she disappeared around the corner before he dropped onto the cot. He buried his face into his hands and let out a heavy sigh. Things just could get more backward.


End file.
